Wednesday: Self Care
Do you know about Spoonies?
In the chapter from Life B that I read last week in public, I talk about being a spoonie. Those of us who have chronic illnesses and conditions, from mental illness to diabetes to lupus and more, often have to learn how to manage our energy throughout our days as well as allow for episodes of pain, physical, mental, or both.
Most of us have good days and bad days, but for spoonies, even the best days may require careful attention to the line between avoidance and exhaustion. Avoiding everything is rarely possible, especially for people with any kind of obligation (work, studies, partners, children, more), but for some spoonies, even the act of taking a shower may lead to fatigue.
Spoon Theory, which developed out of a blog post written by Christine Miserandino, encourages those who know their energy has limits to think about their schedule and assign an imaginary number of spoons to each task, as if they were looking at a drawerful of flatware. If getting dressed takes a lot of effort? Count three spoons. Maybe picking the kids up after school drains you. Four spoons. On the other hand, you find it easier to pick up groceries: One spoon.
It takes some time to figure out your own number and allotment of spoons, of course. Miserandino notes, in her original post, that she tries to keep a spoon or two in reserve, since things change over the course of a week and even in the course of a day.
In my life now, I rarely need to count spoons. I almost always have energy for my daily schedule, and I build in time to meditate and rest because I know that that helps me a great deal. However, I’ll never forget about the Spoon Theory. Sometimes, after events that drain my energy, or when I have a depressive episode, I need to return to counting spoons for a day or two. It not only helps me get back on track — it helps me remember that limits can be instructive.
You have to be creative when you have fewer spoons than many people do. You might decide that you can get to a child’s school event and skip the laundry. Or that finishing an important work project is more important than joining the team happy hour. That you need a nap more than you need to binge watch a new show. I’m not sure I’m giving the best examples. But I’d love to hear yours! Send them to me here?